Let's Get Random/How I Spent Summer Vacation

Ok, here's a bit of randomness for you all.
Can't ever say we don't got no entreprenuers here in Columbia.
Check out the Business ad to the left.
Some crook's selling his shit in the paper as "business equipment".
Damn. The economy is getting bad if criminals be selling their wares.
I don't know about you, but I need some Curtis guns and door opening tools at my workstation at work.
We already have enough staples and paperclips.



D told you about our recent Myrtle Beach excursion. Now it's my turn.
Friendly South Carolinian people? Malls that didn't have THUG written all over them? Planet Hollywood? Hard Rock Cafe? House of Blues? Hooters? (ok, so we have that one here in Cola).
Toto, we sure ain't in SC no mo'!
Not true! Myrtle Beach IS in SC and it's a helluva lot different than most areas I have been to. It's very touristy. VERY. But it's nice.
We stayed in a nice hotel not too far from the beach. We went to one of those time share talks. The people were nice at first. Free doughnuts, drinks. We listened to the speal. We toured the properties. Everyone was friendly. Then we saw them devolve slowly. At the third stage of us turning down the sale, the third person we were sent to looked down his old wrinkled nose at us and sent us off to collect our $50 gift certificate to House of Blues.
Thanks sucka! At least we weren't like the other people there who do this shit for a living. You could tell they were gonna get therez! They gots their lists of friend and family to sign them up for this so they could get a free vacation to Hawaii and shit, they marched up to the desk to collect their freebies, then they walked out without so much as an eye blink. Ah. My heroes.
Now, above you will see the ticket to one of the most HILARIOUS cheapie tourist attractions in Myrtle Beach. There was an Alligator Zoo that looked pretty cheezy-E, but this one took the cake. Plus, we payed money to see it.
It's Ghosts and Legends of the south or some horseshit. You pay like 8 bucks each and go into this room made up to look like Booker T Washington's log cabin or some shit. You can see wires attached to the knick knacks laying around. There was only 1 other couple that was in there with us, sitting on the uncomfortable benches.
It was a 20 minute show. And BOY! Whatta show! Just look at the image above. Doesn't that insight fear and excitement? Fear not for your faithful blogger, dear friends, he made it out alive. And yes, Brian, he did jump once towards the end. The music was LOUD, the objects moved with very visable wires, and even a mop with a hat and coat slowly creaked out of an open window on the stage at the end. Anticlimactic doesn't even begin to describe this debacle. Basically, the show was about souther ghost stories and we were treated to loud booming "southern fried" vocals being spat through little speakers hidden in the room and watched as a spotlight highlighted the said "animated objects". Whatta fuckin' hoot! Anyhoo-enough rambling bout that. The ticket just cracks me up cuz they make it look like a friggin scare-a-thon thrill ride. PRICELESS.




Another thing we experienced while we were in Myrtle Beach was one of the cheesy Celeb Impersonator shows. I was DYING to see how funny one o' these were.
Duane was up for some fun too, so, much to my luck, one of the shows was featuring Janet Jackson.
To the pic on the left, we have the "stars" of our show. Can you guess which one was Miss Jackson If You're Nasty? Also, take a guess at who the other numbers are while you're at it.
To be honest, the people were good, even if the place the show was at looked like the Hee Haw barn. And most of the impersontators didn't look a THING like the stars they were emulating, it was fun.
I was getting up and clapping and dancing to the beat, laughing and carrying on in the audience. Duane was laughing too. I was totally trying to make it seem like I was at a real concert and was soo excited to be there. What damn fun I must say. You can definitely tell I had fun when the mutant 2nd from right came out to perform. TAKE A STAB at some of the numbers he did. You know Trav did some dance moves to those. And sang out loud, laughing the whole damn time.





All in all, I would have to say we had a great time in Myrtle Beach. I mean, we got free accomodations, free food, and got to have our picture taken with Garth Brooks (hey Joe, ya jealous?)